Chapter 1 Road Wench
‘Road Wench’
Proper Noun
(1) A person (usually female) who has worked in the travel industry for some time, leading coach tours through numerous European countries. Customarily covered in gold jewellery, she may be able to speak multiple languages and advise on the best toilets and cheapest shopping (or cheapest toilets and best shopping) in over twenty countries. Skills include being able to answer the same question fifty times in a row without becoming noticeably irate.
In severe cases the Road Wench may also have a large collection of scarves, and umbrellas or silly poles to stick up in the air so her group can follow her around crowded cities.
(2) Someone who is addicted to travelling and even though she should stop, can’t.
‘Coach Driver’
Noun
A really top bloke.
Stud.
***
(1) A person (usually female) who has worked in the travel industry for some time, leading coach tours through numerous European countries. Customarily covered in gold jewellery, she may be able to speak multiple languages and advise on the best toilets and cheapest shopping (or cheapest toilets and best shopping) in over twenty countries. Skills include being able to answer the same question fifty times in a row without becoming noticeably irate.
In severe cases the Road Wench may also have a large collection of scarves, and umbrellas or silly poles to stick up in the air so her group can follow her around crowded cities.
(2) Someone who is addicted to travelling and even though she should stop, can’t.
‘Coach Driver’
Noun
A really top bloke.
Stud.
***
February 2002
Help me! I think I’m becoming a Road Wench.
I don’t wear much jewellery, although I do have a puzzle ring from Florence and another made of Venetian glass. I never wear scarves or use silly poles. But I am addicted to travelling and I can’t seem to stop.
Help me! I think I’m becoming a Road Wench.
I don’t wear much jewellery, although I do have a puzzle ring from Florence and another made of Venetian glass. I never wear scarves or use silly poles. But I am addicted to travelling and I can’t seem to stop.
Some people say, why worry about it? Keep doing it if it’s what you love. They haven’t met my family. My family tell me to stop bloody well travelling around in circles, come home, get a real job, meet a nice boy and have some kids while you still can.
What do I think? I can see the sense of both sides of the argument. What am I going to do? Go back for another summer season on the road. Why? I'd better start from the beginning...
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